Feature Article: Lessons Learned from Kobe Bryant

Sunday, January 26th. I was just sitting down at an outdoor table, outside of a famous LA hot dog stand, about to have lunch with a client and his family when my phone started going off. Incredulous is the word that comes to mind. Maybe dumbfounded. Mumblings from Laker fans outside the establishment and from one of the stand’s employees seemed to confirm what I was seeing on my phone – that Kobe Bryant, along with his daughter Gianna, six other passengers and the pilot of his helicopter had crashed and perished in the hills above Calabasas, just a few minutes’ drive from our Westlake Village office. Each of you reading this has watched the news unfold of each of the families struck by this tragedy, dealt with the loss in your own way, probably watched the memorial in late February, and are probably beginning the slow process of picking up and moving on.

It was a day or two after the accident that I came across a clip of ESPN’s Stephen A. Smith, discussing an interaction between his son and Kobe (I have done my best to find the clip, to no avail). It occurred at a New Year’s Eve party and Stephen A. Smith’s son walked up to Kobe and boastfully shared that he was crushing it in high school and had a 3.5 GPA. As Stephen A. told it, Kobe looked back at his son, gestured with his hands and said, “Here’s 4.0, here’s 3.5…what’s the problem?”

This is part of the reason why I wanted to write this article.God knows there are enough tributes about Kobe Bryant as a basketball player, teammate, and father to his girls to last a lifetime, so I won’t go there.What I want for you, my readers, is to look between the lines of an incredible life lost and to find the important lessons he taught us, especially when it comes to living your best life and being the best you can be.What he was expressing to Stephen A. Smith’s son is a simple concept, but vitally important: are you simply accepting ‘good enough’ in your life when you can be exemplary?Are you, as a student, pushing yourself to be the best you can be?I have told many of you about the ‘mirror test’.For those who haven’t discussed it face-to-face with me, it goes like this: when you look yourself in the mirror and ask if you have done the best you can today, what does the vision in the mirror suggest the answer is?Only you know the answer and only you can change the level of effort made to accomplish your goals.I have told many a student that the grades are less important that the effort.

There were a handful of reporters who were quick to point out a number of Kobe’s shortfalls, namely his sexual assault trial in Eagle, Colorado, back in 2003. Kobe lost nearly every sponsor he had in the following months and was considered a stain on the game for some time. This article is not about what happened in Colorado, or during the trial. There’s two important things that are worthy of note though: 1) We all make mistakes, sometimes big ones. It’s what we do after making the mistake that usually defines us and 2) Learning how to deal with setbacks is incredibly important, if you ever hope to ascend the mountain top again.

Kobe Bryant retired in 2016. Twenty years of consecutive service to the Lakers. Top five in career scoring. Five NBA titles. An NBA MVP award, All-star accolades and an unwavering love of one thing above all…winning. We saw it in two bad NBA Finals losses to the Spurs and Celtics. He cried each time. Winning wasn’t everything, it was the only thing. But as a retired basketball player, he wasn’t resting on his laurels, telling war stories from yesteryear. He was building new opportunities for himself and others. He was picking up the phone and asking questions of those ‘in the know’. He was always getting smarter, learning how to amplify his strengths and seek out his adversary’s weaknesses for exploitation (at least on the court). He had become an accomplished author, an academy-award winning filmmaker, and was building a prosperous business with the aim of bringing greater opportunity for female athletes. The takeaways?: 1) You can be great at more than one thing and 2) Don’t be afraid to ask people who already do what you think you want to do – get answers from experts and become a learned person.

Kobe and Shaquille O’Neal represent one of the best (if not the best) 1-2 teammate combos in the history of the league. Sometimes caught in the shadow (literally and figuratively of the big man, Kobe and Shaq’s relationship was strained for some time, eventually leading to an exit of O’Neal to the Miami Heat in 2004. It’s no secret that some bad blood between the two existed for years, but as both careers began to wind down, tensions eased and retrospect taught both of a relationship that was based on brotherhood (and what brothers don’t fight from time to time). Each was friendly with the other’s family and gained respect for each other as people and as professionals. What are the takeaways from this part of Kobe’s life?: 1) Let bygones be bygones; 2) Recognize your friends and family for who they are, and 3) Let them know how much you appreciate them while you have time opportunity to do so.

Lastly, let’s examine that career again. The titles. The accolades, the extraordinary moments, like the 81-point night against the Toronto Raptors, the 61 he hung on the Knicks in Madison Square Garden to a standing ovation and, of course, his final game on April 14, 2016 against the Utah Jazz, where as a twenty-year veteran who had endured a number of significant injuries, Kobe willed his his body and his team to victory by scoring 60 points on 50 shots. It was one of the most incredible conclusions to a game or a career I have ever seen. All that said, I was reminded of how those magical moments ever came to life: Practice does make perfect and having and exemplifying the ‘Mamba mentality’ is the only way any of it ever happened in the first place.

Thank you Kobe. Thank you for the memories. Thank you for the life lessons. Thank you for being an inspiration to us all.

#24, #8, RIP.